Sunday, October 28, 2007

Shout out from Senorita Boozehound

You know there are days when you say I'd like a drink. Then there are days when you say I could use a drink. Then there are days when you say Damn it I need a drink. However when you are in the land of manana and green freaking chiles you ( if you are me) can not have a drink. Soooo you wait until you go to TX and get together with friends to have the marathon cocktail hour.
This also happens when you go to Sin City for a national conference. Where you get together with work friends and have mulitple cocktails on the company tab. Now what you need to do is leave your phone in your hotel room.
Apparently my internal boozehound took over and I did the sipping and dialing. Apparently I called friends, co-workers, and (I found out today) my boss. Good thing is I did not leave the same message for my boss that I did for my friend in Chi town. She actually answered and told me that I was very insistant that she needed to have a drink with me. She very wisely declined and I am still employed. Wow!!! I wonder what I would have told her if she had come out for a cocktail. I guess we'll never know.
I'm waiting to hear from the Secret Service to find out what message I left for the Prez. I'm sure I called him cause I called everyone else.
Tragic yes, but sometimes you do need to blow off a little steam. I believe the steam I released could have powered a small city for one year, but I'm all better now.
Those of you celebrating 10/31 in Chi Town have fun and I'll be waiting for my drunken call back!!!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Do you think my PO will be hot????

Notice to all my party friends. Take a cab fool!!!

So as it happens April 19th after a stellar tax season with over a 7% increase I went out to celebrate and play some pool with some local NM friends. After a wonderful night of some adult beverages and 4th place in the pool tournament I proceeded to give a friend a ride home.

Now if you don't know the lovely city of Albuquerque the West Mesa can be nice, but on the South side of Interstate 40 it is rough territory. Pretty much the Mexican hood one could say and Lisa lived right in the middle of this. Wouldn't you know it APD was out in full force and they selected me, yes me the one with the TX plates to pull over.

Now I don't understand these idiots that have been drinking and RUN when they see those lights. What you think you'll out run the entire squad, plus the helicopters, and the dogs. You dumb ass you!!!

But I digress...So anyway I can say from experience that I do not run. I pulled over and said "well %&*$#"!!! "Hi officer why yes I have had only about 3 beers tonight" Wrong answer!!! Do not try to make it seem like you only drank a little, because in legalize this is known as an admission of guilt. Who knew!!!

So anyway as you can imagine things went down hill from here and I ended up spending a very sleepless night in lockup with a Motley Crue to say the least. I'll save that for another blog.

So now fast forward to 5 months later when you are finally brought to trail. Now I've already spent $4000 on my attorney. (Thank god for a good year because you now know where my bonus check has gone!!) Lost my license and have a lovely NM license with "Interlock License" in big red letters across the front. I have to give my truck a blow job to start it up and while I'm driving. Seems it has already thought you might get someone else to blow before you start so it retests while you are driving!!! I also had to pay for the privilege to blow my truck and pay rent on this thing every month!!

So I have been screened by the court. Apparently I do not rate as high as Paris or Lindsey because rehab was not required according to my screening.

I have to pay court costs, the MADD victim panel next week (I can take a guest anyone want to come along), community service, DWI school, and next week I get to meet my Parole Officer.
So you think he'll be hot?? With my luck chances are it'll be a chick. And sorry all you that were saying maybe it could happened if I didn't flip to the lesbo side in the big house it just ain't gonna happen. Sorry you can all take your money off the table.

Long story short. I love you guys. Have fun!! Drink up if you want to, but call cab!!! It just isn't worth it!!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Where do I begin

So here it goes...
I had a beautiful life in Texas. Wonderful husband and two great kids.

My older one is the strongest person I know. She told me and her dad that she was gay when she was 14 and has been living her life out and proud ever since. This is not an easy thing to do when you are going to high school in the middle of the bible belt. I am so very proud of her everyday of her life.

My little one is also very strong willed. (I have no idea where she got this personality trait from...). She is going to break a lot of hearts with her "Hey if you got it flaunt it that does mean they can have it" attitude. She is very tough yet very sweet too. Always thinking about everyone else around her. That I know she gets that from her dad.

Her poor dad. I just don't know how he puts up with the 3 of us. He is one of these gentle souls. Never gets upset. If fact he never shows emotion of any kind. You'd think he would be a better poker play with that temperament.

Anyway then there is me. The wild child. My family always told me I was the blacksheep. The only one out of 6 children that did not finish college. The only one that would stand up to my mother and tell her to back off. I'm really surprised I don't have a permanant hand print across my cheek from everytime she slapped me across the face. That was my mother...hit first and ask questions later. I don't want to give the impression she was a child absurer. Don't get me wrong it's just that she and I have the same personality so it was like the clash of the titans growing up. Her job was to discipline with what ever she could get her hands on and my job was to get into trouble to give her hostility an outlet. We had the perfect partnership.

I think I'll stop for now. I have so much to say that I didn't even realize this was going to be so...well you know. If you don't have one of these you better start one.

Next time I'll go into my life and why I'm wilting...