My worldwind weekend in Chi Town

I need inspiration to pen my thoughts. Well let me tell you about the inspiring weekend I just had. I took the last flight out of KC to the Windy City. Exhausted from a week of talking head meetings I drag myself through Midway Airport follow the Baggage Claim signs to find my way.

So these signs take you to the end of the line where it's just an escalator ride down to luggage land. I hit the top of this moving staircase and my heart skippes a beat. Who do I see at the bottom of this ride but my entire reason for making this trip. My 6ft+ BFF and his 5ft nothing (but a heart and sole that is 10ft tall) lover, also my BFF!!! I feel a rush of renewed energy and wish I could run down the escalator for the big bear hugs, but the 80 year old couple that beat me to it are in my way damn it!!!

We take a slight wrong turn leaving the airport, but those of you that know Dalton understand that this is how my boy gets around. Wouldn't be a ride with my big D if you don't take a wrong turn now and again.

We get to their neighborhood around 11pm and I am mesmerized as I take a trip into a real life version of Sex in the City with Brownstones and neighborhood pubs and the train going by over my head.

They take me up the back spiral staircase to their amazing apartment and show me to my room. (Sorry Joe and Tom, but I'm taking this over a mine now!!!)

The night starts innocently enough with a pizza order for the famous Chicago pizza (or as David and I call it a freaking pizza casserole holy cow) and just a couple of drinks to relax before going to bed. So fast forward through a big bottle of rum, the remainder of an other rum bottle we found in the freezer, some vodka and 7 hours later (yes this is how I earned the Senorita Boozehound handle thank you!!!) We have laughed about old times, analyzed poor Dalton and his misplaced feelings of guilt, laughed, joked, poor David went to bed at some point, and then Dalton and I finally realize that the sun has come up. Nighty night and off to bed we go.

After a what I feel was just a catnap, we get up and head downstairs for breakfast, no lunch, no turned out to be dinner at 3pm. Lots of talk the night before about hitting the aquarium, architecture tour, the Sears Tower, German Town, Navy Pear, blah blah blah Hell no we catch a cab end up on Halstead in Boys Town. Woo Hoo yea baby this is where I wanted to go in the first place. I'm not a tourist type "show my your galleries and museum"...Nope, I want to see the real city. Any boy did I...

First stop the gay sports bar. Cool place, bet it gets crazy during super bowl Sunday. However, it is the only sports bar I've ever been in where the games on the tube but the sound systems is cranking out Madonna and Cher. Go figure I forgot where I was...

Next stop - Charlies the home of the Dart Team. I was introduced to text to screen where you can hit on or fight with other patrons in the bar in front of everyone. We can also harass the boys when they play darts just by sending a text. Don't worry I picked up a card with the #. This is also where I first noticed the fish bowls at the exit/entrance to every bar in Boys Town filled with FREE condoms. I have my Safe Sex Chicago condom souvenir. (And you guys were so worried that I didn't pick out a T-shirt. Please this is so much better.)

Next stop - the leather bar and our celebrating bar tender. I was extremely concerned that this poor guys was either going to fall over passed out and hurt himself or toss his cookies all over the bar. One shot to many for our new college graduate. That being said after many tries for him to get the order correctly...3 beers and 1 rum and diet no freaking lime already!!! I was quite happy I offered to pay this round when he charged me only $10. He was way beyond doing the math and didn't give a crap since it was his last week on the job anyway. LOL

Next stop - Mr Jims I think. Cute place, nice artwork, "ladies" room smells like pee...Ugh!! You guys really need to work on your aim!!

Next stop - Now Dalton tried to get us to stop for dinner, but oh hell now we're on a mission now. So we went to Bucks to sit on the patio and have a smoke or two with our cocktails. 5 minutes in the joint we aren't even outside yet and the first party foul of a spilled shot has occurred. You can tell where things are going now. It's all good. David dried off nicely in the patio. Ah the patio...Utopia for the smoking drinker. This place was great and BTW the bathroom in this place smelled of vanilla and only vanilla. So at bucks I get to meet Ralph and Darkness. 2 of the most unforgettable characters. Ralph, part Puerto Rican and part I didn't catch it, is fabulous and quick with the one liners. Darkness ( a great big Black man who I couldn't believe my friend were calling Darkness behind his back until he called himself that) is very open and honest about what he thinks and how he's feeling. He thought I was Greek so before I knew it I am the Feta Latina. Now here is the problem when you're having fun with these kind of instigators which takes us to our last stop on the Boys Town tour...

Final stop - The Lighthouse or maybe the Horseshoe, or whatever I was drunk by this time so I don't remember the name. Here is where you find the tragic strippers. 6ft 87 lbs soaking wet, bones sticking out from in between the cigarette burns and track marks. So much so that you want to take them all out for French Fries. However, even in this den of ick and yuck I did find an entertainer who ended up with my $5 where the sun doesn't shine...:-)

We say our goodbyes and head out...or so I thought. Ralph had dissappeared and said goodbye inside and then all of a sudden while we were having a smoke outside before hailing a cab he appears again. A big smile on his face and that look of "what's next kids". Some how from somewhere down deep inside I had a moment of clarity.

The bars in this town stay open until 5am and I knew we were heading for trouble so I say to myself "girl get the hell out of here or you know we are heading back to Charlie's until they kick us out at sunrise." With this as my primary thought I go to hail a cab. I dash into the street and head towards the first one I see, but damn it there is already someone in there. Deciding I wasn't steady enough on my feet to wrestler her out of the cab. Now I cross into the next lane of oncoming traffic and scare the crap out of some poor Hindu cabbie who was either really for hire or just too afraid to tell me no.

Off we go to the apartment then decide we better get something to eat so time to walk another block or 2 (like the cab couldn't have dropped us off there!!!!) to a little diner type eatery. Now I make this walking reference, because I got the name Senority Boozehound as a marathon drinker not a marathon runner...but when in Rome try to keep up so off we go. Don't remember much of the meal except for Dalton wanting to substitute something and actually almost begging as this is a no no in this place.

Got home at 2am so really not that bad considering we stopped to eat. Once home I passed out and then it hit me. Someone make this waterbed stop moving. Wait this isn't a waterbed. Holy crap I have the spins!!! I get up to go pee and get some water however I can't get in the bathroom. Fighting and pulling on that damn door that just will not open until...I realize the freaking thing opens to the inside of the bathroom. Opps I better go back to bed.

Saturday was the day we were going to see it all...I just wanted to sleep and watch TV but Dalton has this incredible ability to wake up at the crack of dawn after a long night of drinking. He so wanted to show me his town so I really needed to get up and get going. You've gotta love someone that wants to be the city guide and such a great host.

We decide to head over to Navy Pier to eat at Bubba Gump shrimp and see the boats. (Silly boy still thought he could talk me into a boat tour.) I had a great time checking out the free shows they have going on and just people watching. So many folks form all across the world then I hear a familiar shout out "No todavia aye unchingo de jente esperado" translation "No there is still a $hitload of people waiting". I couldn't help but crack up. I still don't understand how David and I are bearly hanging on here trying to maintain when you can tell we just want to nap and then there is Dalton almost skipping, running circles around us asking OK what's next guys...who's ready for a dring?...OMG. How the hell does he do that?????

Now I say I am not a museum fan, but I have to admit some things are really cool. There was a stained glass exhibit at the pier and some of these were beautiful so we did have to stop to check these out. Then on our way out we stopped at the game store and David found the Sex in the City Trivia game.

We headed back home for a quite night of trivia. I love this show so it was on!!!! This game is a little tricky at first to figure out what the heck you need to do but once we got the hang of it what a blast. Now David and I you can tell are real fans of the show. Answering question after question and acting out certain scenes etc. Dalton on the other hand may have missed an entire season or 2 based on his answers. So you tell me how the hell did he win!!!! I still don't get it but he sure did.

Next day was a wonderful home cooked brunch feast, a little TV, then time to pack and head back to midway. WAAAAAA I don't want to go.

I had the best time and can't wait to get back. Maybe this time I'll actually make it down 3 blocks from the apartment and see German Town...They are famous for their beers right????